Corona is not just a beer: The Australian guide to the penis

Corona is not only a beerHow well do you know your own penis? While there are plenty of articles in both women’s and men’s magazines that go into great detail on female genital anatomy, there is little said, apart from crude jokes and discussions about size, about our own bits. As our parts are mostly external, perhaps we think that because we can see it we know everything about it? Well there is often more to it than meets the eye. In the following we give a brief introduction to some of the individual parts of the penis, and explain them in a way that the Australian man can easily understand.

Corona

Corona is a Mexican beer, famous for its citrus aroma and flavour. Many Australian drinkers garnish their beer with a wedge of lemon or lime to highlight these flavours, although some say this is simply a marketing ploy. Garnishing your own corona in the same way is not recommended given that it is one of the most sensitive parts of your penis, and may result in intense stinging! The corona (or corona glandis/coronal ridge) is the rim or flange at the base of the glans (or ‘head’) of the penis. Stimulation is achieved by the action of the foreskin ‘rolling’ or ‘gliding’ over the corona.

Every time I see someone drinking a Corona beer I question if the marketing department at this company did much research before naming their beer. Although the brand has been around since the 1800s, and also means ‘crown’, so perhaps they can be forgiven.

Sulcus

Some Australian men might know the sulcus as a new toothbrush from Oral B but it is also part of your penis. Although this toothbrush has been designed for sensitive teeth and gums, remeber that, despite the poorly chosen name, it is for your teeth and not your actual sulcus. Ouch!

So what is the sulcus? To be fair to Proctor and Gambler, the term sulcus is not unique to the penis, and is defined as a deep, narrow furrow or groove, as in an organ or tissue. It is a term most commonly associated with the narrow fissures in the brain. The sulcus on your penis, or more correctly, the ‘coronal sulcus’ is the groove underneath your corona.

Bands

Something we go to see at a pub on saturday nights. You also have multiple bands on your penis. The most significant of these is the ridged band (or frenar/frenular) band which according to cirp.org is a “ring of deeply corrugated or ridged mucous membrane lining the tip of the prepuce which provides “important sexual reflexes and erogenous sensation”.

Smegma

This should not be mistaken for a brand of top-end kitchen appliances (that’s just smeg), or a made up swear word on the tv series Red Dwarf. According to circumstitions.com it is “A natural secretion of skin cells and oils that collects under the foreskin in both males and females” that has “lubricant, pheromonal (sexual attractant) and perhaps bacteriostatic (bacteria-killing) functions”. It can be a case of too much of a good thing so the occasional wash is in order.

Frenulum

If you don’t know what this is stick out your tongue in front of the mirror and look underneath it. The bit that attaches your tongue to the bottom of your mouth is the¬†lingual frenulum. The frenulum on your penis looks similar, and is the ridge of skin under the glans, joining it to the foreskin. Some call this the male G spot, but different men report varying degrees of sensation.

Docking

This is what farmers sometimes do to sheep tails, right? If you are the slightest bit homophobic perhaps you should leave it at that and don’t read on, because this gets a bit graphic. When I was about ten, I wondered what homosexual men actually did with each other. I thought that they somehow managed to wrap or twist their penises together. When I learned a bit more I remembered thinking back about how naive I was as a ten year old. As it turns out, I wasn’t far off the mark. “Docking” is a sexual technique where one man will extend his foreskin beyond the end of his penis and continue to roll his foreskin onto his partner’s penis.

Foreskin

Many older Australian men may define this as ‘the bit that is cut off during circumcision’. Most younger guys who were left intact know what this is, and know that it is much more than the ‘useless flap of skin’ it was called in the past. In fact, it is not even skin, but a richly nerve-laden group of special structures including the frenulum, dartos and ridged band. For those who have had theirs taken away and read this with a heavy heart, reading about foreskin restoration below may lift your spirits.

Glans

Every Australian man would know what this part is, you just may not know the correct name for it! Most of us probably call this the ‘head’ or sometimes ‘helmet’.

Dartos

This may sound like a spanish version of the pub game usually played with a beer in the non-throwing hand, but it is actually a thin layer of muscle under the skin of the scrotum and penis, and is prominent around the tip of the foreskin. Here it forms a sphincter to close around the end of the glans. It is what causes ‘shrinkage’ in cold weather.

Corpus cavernosum

This may sound like something you missed during religous studies in primary school. Wasn’t this the cave where Jesus Christ was interred? While an internal part, you should still understand it considering it is important for erectile health. The corpus cavernosum is basically your erectile tissue. When aroused, your brain will send instructions to fill this erectile tissue with blood, resulting in an erection. There are exercises and penis pumps that can strengthen and grow the corpus cavernosum resulting in stronger and longer erections. While it seems that most women don’t care too much about penis size, if this is important to you these methods can actually work, where magic pills and potions will not.

Foreskin restoration

Australian men like to restore old things, especially houses, motorbikes, cars and tractors. What you may not know, even though it is now getting greater media exposure, is that you can also restore your foreskin. ‘Restoration’ may actually be a misnomer, as the process is more like ‘growing it back’. It involves putting tension on the foreskin remnant to induce a process called mitosis, where new skin cells are grown. This new skin eventually can cover the glans to look and feel similar to the real thing. However, it’s a little bit like taking a standard VH Valliant Charger and modifying the engine, front grill and sticking on some decals to make it look like an R/T.¬† It might look like the real deal from a distance but upon closer inspection and a test drive you can tell its not quite the same.

 

Image courtesy of khunaspix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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