Corona is not just a beer: The Australian guide to the penis

Corona is not only a beerHow well do you know your own penis? While there are plenty of articles in both women’s and men’s magazines that go into great detail on female genital anatomy, there is little said, apart from crude jokes and discussions about size, about our own bits. As our parts are mostly external, perhaps we think that because we can see it we know everything about it? Well there is often more to it than meets the eye. In the following we give a brief introduction to some of the individual parts of the penis, and explain them in a way that the Australian man can easily understand.

Corona

Corona is a Mexican beer, famous for its citrus aroma and flavour. Many Australian drinkers garnish their beer with a wedge of lemon or lime to highlight these flavours, although some say this is simply a marketing ploy. Garnishing your own corona in the same way is not recommended given that it is one of the most sensitive parts of your penis, and may result in intense stinging! The corona (or corona glandis/coronal ridge) is the rim or flange at the base of the glans (or ‘head’) of the penis. Stimulation is achieved by the action of the foreskin ‘rolling’ or ‘gliding’ over the corona.

Every time I see someone drinking a Corona beer I question if the marketing department at this company did much research before naming their beer. Although the brand has been around since the 1800s, and also means ‘crown’, so perhaps they can be forgiven.

Sulcus

Some Australian men might know the sulcus as a new toothbrush from Oral B but it is also part of your penis. Although this toothbrush has been designed for sensitive teeth and gums, remeber that, despite the poorly chosen name, it is for your teeth and not your actual sulcus. Ouch!

So what is the sulcus? To be fair to Proctor and Gambler, the term sulcus is not unique to the penis, and is defined as a deep, narrow furrow or groove, as in an organ or tissue. It is a term most commonly associated with the narrow fissures in the brain. The sulcus on your penis, or more correctly, the ‘coronal sulcus’ is the groove underneath your corona.

Bands

Something we go to see at a pub on saturday nights. You also have multiple bands on your penis. The most significant of these is the ridged band (or frenar/frenular) band which according to cirp.org is a “ring of deeply corrugated or ridged mucous membrane lining the tip of the prepuce which provides “important sexual reflexes and erogenous sensation”.

Smegma

This should not be mistaken for a brand of top-end kitchen appliances (that’s just smeg), or a made up swear word on the tv series Red Dwarf. According to circumstitions.com it is “A natural secretion of skin cells and oils that collects under the foreskin in both males and females” that has “lubricant, pheromonal (sexual attractant) and perhaps bacteriostatic (bacteria-killing) functions”. It can be a case of too much of a good thing so the occasional wash is in order.

Frenulum

If you don’t know what this is stick out your tongue in front of the mirror and look underneath it. The bit that attaches your tongue to the bottom of your mouth is the lingual frenulum. The frenulum on your penis looks similar, and is the ridge of skin under the glans, joining it to the foreskin. Some call this the male G spot, but different men report varying degrees of sensation.

Docking

This is what farmers sometimes do to sheep tails, right? If you are the slightest bit homophobic perhaps you should leave it at that and don’t read on, because this gets a bit graphic. When I was about ten, I wondered what homosexual men actually did with each other. I thought that they somehow managed to wrap or twist their penises together. When I learned a bit more I remembered thinking back about how naive I was as a ten year old. As it turns out, I wasn’t far off the mark. “Docking” is a sexual technique where one man will extend his foreskin beyond the end of his penis and continue to roll his foreskin onto his partner’s penis.

Foreskin

Many older Australian men may define this as ‘the bit that is cut off during circumcision’. Most younger guys who were left intact know what this is, and know that it is much more than the ‘useless flap of skin’ it was called in the past. In fact, it is not even skin, but a richly nerve-laden group of special structures including the frenulum, dartos and ridged band. For those who have had theirs taken away and read this with a heavy heart, reading about foreskin restoration below may lift your spirits.

Glans

Every Australian man would know what this part is, you just may not know the correct name for it! Most of us probably call this the ‘head’ or sometimes ‘helmet’.

Dartos

This may sound like a spanish version of the pub game usually played with a beer in the non-throwing hand, but it is actually a thin layer of muscle under the skin of the scrotum and penis, and is prominent around the tip of the foreskin. Here it forms a sphincter to close around the end of the glans. It is what causes ‘shrinkage’ in cold weather.

Corpus cavernosum

This may sound like something you missed during religous studies in primary school. Wasn’t this the cave where Jesus Christ was interred? While an internal part, you should still understand it considering it is important for erectile health. The corpus cavernosum is basically your erectile tissue. When aroused, your brain will send instructions to fill this erectile tissue with blood, resulting in an erection. There are exercises and penis pumps that can strengthen and grow the corpus cavernosum resulting in stronger and longer erections. While it seems that most women don’t care too much about penis size, if this is important to you these methods can actually work, where magic pills and potions will not.

Foreskin restoration

Australian men like to restore old things, especially houses, motorbikes, cars and tractors. What you may not know, even though it is now getting greater media exposure, is that you can also restore your foreskin. ‘Restoration’ may actually be a misnomer, as the process is more like ‘growing it back’. It involves putting tension on the foreskin remnant to induce a process called mitosis, where new skin cells are grown. This new skin eventually can cover the glans to look and feel similar to the real thing. However, it’s a little bit like taking a standard VH Valliant Charger and modifying the engine, front grill and sticking on some decals to make it look like an R/T.  It might look like the real deal from a distance but upon closer inspection and a test drive you can tell its not quite the same.

 

Image courtesy of khunaspix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Foreskin restoration growing in popularity in Australia

Some of us were circumcised as babies, and we are absolutely fine with it. Some of us are uncircumcised (intact) and fine with it too. A small percentage of men who were left intact decide to have it done later in life – mostly for medical reasons but sometimes for cultural reasons. And that’s fine too.

But there are some men who were circumcised and are not happy about it. For this group, in the past it was a case of just having to accept it, or being told to ‘get over it’ when these concerns were expressed to others.

Now it seems that more and more Australian men are learning that there is actually something that can be done about it.  The news.com.au website today published an article called Meet the circumcised men who want to restore their foreskins. The article explains the basic concept of putting tension on the remnant foreskin to encourage the growth of new cells, to gradually grow the skin over the glans. While not re-growing some of the specialised structures and tissues, the result can closely resemble and function like a real foreskin.

While foreskin resotoration was well known in Roman times, the art was lost until it was rediscovered in the 1970’s. The proliferation of the internet in the 1990’s made it possible to share the knowledge and techniques more widely. However, I believe that today was the first time that the Australian mainstream media, albeit an online outlet, has dedicated an entire article to foreskin restoration.

Unfortunately it seems that no comments are being published, so I’ll make some corrections and highlight ommissions here.

Firstly, the article portrays foreskin restoration as a process that is so disruptive to normal life that it is almost impractical to do. Most restorers I have connected with have managed to easily fit the routine into their lives with only minor adjustments. In addition, the article omits to mention that their are other methods that are less invasive, especially the manual methods where the restorer needs to only use their hands to gently stretch the skin at various times throughout the day – usually at toilet breaks.

My next comment on the article is that the ‘top doctor’ the author spoke to at the Australian Medical Association appears to have no knowledge of the natural restoration process. His comments were in relation to surgical restoration techniques, which was not the topic of the article. Ironically, he warned that surgery would result in a scarred penis – much like the scars caused by the original circumcision surgery.

Finally, I found it odd that the article ends with links and phone numbers to mental health and depression services. Is the author suggesting that only men with mental health issues would worry about being circumcised and consider restoration? Is this an attempt to dismiss the real concerns of men?

In any case it is good to see the media finally taking the topic of foreskin restoration seriously, and exposing many more Australian men to the benefits of restoring.

Top eight tips for making your penis larger (or at least how to not make it any smaller)

We all know that penis size doesn’t matter but given the number of spam emails promising you a longer and thicker organ there is clearly a demand, or at least an interest in penile enhancement. While most of these claims are, sometimes literally, snake oil potions, are there any proven methods that can make your penis bigger? Well there are actually a couple of scientifically proven ways to do this. And given that the proven methods are so few, I thought I’d beef up this post with with some other strategies to at least make sure that what you were given does not get any smaller.

1. Don’t get yourself circumcised
While it may be too late for many Australian men, if you have been lucky enough to escape the knife up to this point you should make sure you continue to avoid the procedure. (If you are one of the unlucky ones don’t despair – check out number 2 below.)

The obvious effect that circumcision has is to physically reduce the size of the flacid penis. It is self evident that if you cut of part of your penis you will have, well, less penis. As comedian Will Anderson quipped on the television show Good News Week, in response to a proposed Californian bill to make circumcision illegal, “what man is going to look down and say gee, I think I want to make this smaller”.

While many Australian men think that this effect is only on flaccid penis size, there is evidence to suggest that there is also an effect on erect penis size. An Australian study has shown that a circumcised penis is on average 8mm smaller than an intact (uncircumcised) one. This is thought to be due to the restrictive skin on a circumcised penis ‘tethering’ the glans and inner parts of the shaft during an erection. In addition the erect girth also becomes smaller as you lose the double layer of skin just below the glans.

2. If you have been circumcised, restore
While medical evidence may be scant, there is strong anecdotal evidence that undergoing natural foreskin restoration can increase penis size. By natural foreskin restoration I am referring to the process of applying tension to the remnant foreskin over a long period of time to trigger a process called mitosis, whereby the skin cells multiply. The end result is that the remnant foreskin grows in length to have a similar look an function to a normal foreskin.

There are two reasons why this can also have an affect on penis size. The first is the reversal of the tethering effect (outlined in point 1 above). It stands to reason that if the tight foreskin caused by circumcision can make the penis shorter by tethering it to the body then loosening that skin will release it and allow it to grow to its full potential during an erection. Note though that this effect is often only experienced by men who were unfortunate enough to receive a very tight circumcision, and those who restore from a more generous base may not experience any increase in length.

The second is the theory that the frequent tension causes mitosis not only in the foreskin but also in the penile shaft.

Many many report increased length of around 1 inch as a result of foreskin restoration. My personal experience is that I started with an average penis length of 6 2/8 inches, and after almost completing the restoration process my length is still 6 2/8 inches. However, I did only first measure myself after 3 months into the restoration process.

3. Stop smoking
Did you really need another reason to stop smoking? Well apparently a study has shown that men who stopped smoking experienced an increase in size. Or more accurately their penis size reverted to the normal size it would have been if they had never started smoking.

4. Start jelqing
I must admit, this is one I have actually tried. It sounds like an attractive proposition: stroke your penis every day (umm..that’s what I do every day anyway) and it will grow. But the ‘stroking’ is more intense than my usual efforts. The idea is to force blood up from the base to the glans to cause minor damage to the vessels. I won’t describe it any more than than in case I get it wrong. Which would be likeley because it is such a complex process. From warm-up wraps to warm downs, stricts regimes of sets and reps with various levels of hardness, different grips, days on and rest days. I tried my own regime at each bathroom break and I decided that after three months that if I had even one millimeter or growth then I would continue. My total gains were 0mm.

5. Traction devices
While the skeptical general public usually laughs off the suggestion that any device could make your penis longer it seems that the medical and scientific community is now saying that these traction devices might actually work. Similar to foreskin restoration, the devices work by applying tension over a long period of time, which induces cell growth. Read more on one of the more popular traction devices here.

6. Penis pumps
While traction devices have some scientific backing, the efficacy of the penis pumping devices is less certain. While some studies have shown an increase others have shown no change. They work by creating a vaccum around the penis which causes an engorging of the penile blood vessels. Over time (and again, six months is usually required) the vessels can grow, resulting in an increase in length. Penomet is one of the more popular brands.

7. Diet and exercise
If improving blood vessels can result in increased size, then perhaps diet and excercise can acheive the same thing? Sounds plausible to me but I am yet to find any solid evidence to suggest that diet and excercise can do anything other than improve the strength of your erection (which is not a bad thing anyway).

8. Lose weight
This is another one that falls under the category of getting your penis size back to what it naturally should be. As you gain weight around your pubic area (to get technical, the mons pubis), the growing area of fat can effectively ‘swallow’ the base of your penis. It’s pretty simple really – the more that gets buried in this layer of fat the less you have to show. If you needed further incentive to finally lose weight perhaps this is the reason to get you started!

Eight is an unconventional number for any ‘top’ list.  I had intended this to be a ‘top ten’ list but simple could not find enough methods with any sort of legitimacy to make the cut. If I have missed anything though please add them as a comment below.

Bonds: not very very comfy undies

One of my pet hates is false advertising. I once considered complaining to the ACCC about Woolworth’s ‘fresh food’ claim when I realised that green bananas and rock hard pears are technically fresh off the trees. But can’t they just leave them on the trees a little longer? When I am shopping how am I supposed to know if I’ll feel like a banana next week?

One legitimate claim I may have though is Bonds’ claim of ‘comfy undies’. They have been using this tag for years but I have never heard them acutally back up why they claim that their underwear is comfortable. Is this just ‘puffery’? (See, I did remember something from Law 101). What makes them so comfortable? They can parade Patrick Rafter around in their underwear as much as they like but I think that Australian men deserve some specifics.

So here are some specifics on why I think they are uncomfortable. Firstly, they are too tight around my testicles. Now I don’t have particularly large balls, but even for me the undies pull them up into my body. This can even be painful when sitting or lying in certain positions. Even worse is the fact that it is now commonly understood that this increases the tempeture which can have a negative affect on fertility.

Secondly, while being too tight around the testicles I find them too loose around the penis. Unfortunately I was a victim of forced circumcision as an infant, and as a result my glans (head), which should naturally be mostly an internal organ, is constantly exposed to annoying friction with underwear. If this part of the underwear is loose, my glans are allowed to move around too much causing a great deal of irritation.

So in my opinion, Bonds have it back to front – their men’s underwear is too tight down low and too loose up high.

I should admit that I actually wear bonds underwear. But here is what I need to do to actually make them comfortable. I buy them, and like a good cellar wine, I put them away for at least 3 years. In this time, the cotton seems to become more relaxed, and makes them just right around the scrotum. Unfortunately they also become looser around the penis. But as I can now cover my glans with my foreskin remnant following an almost complete foreskin restoration this is now less of an issue.

So as a repeat customer, i don’t think my complaint to the ACCC would stand up. I would like to understand if Bonds actually did any market research into what Australian men actually want from their underwear. Bonds – if you do decide to actually do some research please let me know and I’ll be happy to tell you more.

Average Australian penis size: what is it, and does anybody care?

In this land where big things seem to be revered (eg. big pineapple, banana, prawn, ad infinitum), how do Australian men stack up when it comes to penis size? What is the average penis size for Aussie men, and how does this compare to other countries?

measuring penis size“Does anyone even care?” seems to be the most socially acceptable response to these questions. But although most Australian men and women will often say they don’t care, it doesn’t take much digging around to get the feeling that to some extent, we do.

Just looking at the number of traction or pump growth devices available on the market and the huge number of website pages on the topic will give you some indication of what a hot topic this is. But don’t worry about attempting to read through them all because I’ve done that for you, and can give you the 10 second summary:

1. Most guys seem to be curious enough to get the tape measure out at one point.

2. It is almost always guys who ask the question.

3. Most brief responses from girls will say they don’t care.

4. Most detailed responses from girls will say anything from slightly under to slightly over average is just fine.

5. Guys confirm that they ‘whip it out’ and compare with their friends only as often as the girls have pillow fights with their friends dressed only in sexy underwear.

So now that we have established that it’s not really important, let’s have a look at the various studies that have been done on the penis size, both length and girth, of Australian men.

The most recent study was by Smith et. al. which found that the average erect length of the Australian man was 15.71cm with a circumference of 13.2cm. Ansell condoms (page no longer available – archived version) provides further details on this study and also compares the results to other studies from around the world.

An earlier study by Richters et. al. in 1995 found the average penis length for Australian (specifically, Sydney) men was 16.0cm. Interestingly it found that the circumcised men in this study were on average 5% (0.8cm) shorter than the uncircumcised (or intact) men. The theory is that the lack of skin in circumcised men effectively tethers the penis to the body, restricting it from extending to its full potential. For circumcised men who are concerned about this, anecdotal evidence suggests that foreskin restoration can reverse this effect.

The final survey comes in the form of the world penis size map, which while disputed by some Australian sources, shows Australians with a penis size of just 13.31cm. Personally, I’d be happy to not question this at all and believe that I am actually well above the average of my fellow country-men, rather than just the average as suggested by other surveys.

In response, we have created our own world map of average penis sizes. This new map uses the third-party measurement from the Smith et. al. study mentioned earlier, setting the average penis length of the Australian man at 15.71cm.

Not that it matters to me. Because it’s not important, and nobody cares, right? But if you do care, you might want to check out on post on the top eight tips for making your penis larger (or at least how to not make it any smaller).

Image courtesy of Carlos Porto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net